EARGASMIC.

I love The Black Keys. I saw them live at Flow festival in Helsinki. Pity they could only play for an hour, no time for their older stuff. But we had so much fun my sister carrying me piggy back for Tighten Up and Lonely Boy. I wish every week end could be so great.

FEELING FREE.

So I've spent most of the summer in London, and it's been so amazing and so much fun. I got to go to Finland for two weeks at the beginning of the month and also was lucky enough to get booked for work trips to Nice and Venice earlier in the summer. I've been trying to focus on myself here and find out what I really like and want to do. That might sound weird, but I had sort of a crisis in the spring. I realized I have had a very low self esteem as long as I can remember, and I've always been afraid of what other people think of me. Also I've been trying to please other people to the point that for example I didn't know if I liked a genre of music because of myself or because a boyfriend or an old friend was really into it and I wanted to seem cool to them. Deep down I do know that it doesn't matter what other people think as long as I'm happy and feel free and can live with my decisions and deeds. So I've come to the conclusion that I am awesome. And anybody who thinks differently is wrong. As long as I have good intensions and positive energy towards others, I am allowed to be of the opinion that I am awesome.

I've found out some of my true passions here too. I really, really love bikram yoga. I'm dreaming of doing the bikram yoga teacher training, if I happen to have free time and extra money before I go to uni. I first started with bikram in 2006 but only recently I've begun to really enjoy it and not just do it because "I need to work out". And maybe the lack of proper Finnish saunas in the UK has been driving me to the heated studios too! Another thing I love is dancing. My favorite style is waacking, it sounds and even looks a bit funny but I just love it so much. My arms and shoulders hurt from practicing and I'm really no good at it, but the music makes me feel sooooo good. Sometimes I go to hip hop classes too, but the fun in that really depends on the personal style and taste of music of the teacher. Some hip hop dance teachers can play Chris Brown and others 90's rap, take a guess which one I prefer...

On top of the yoga and dancing I'm obsessed with nutrition. It all started last year in New York, I spent the summer there and realized how horrible and unnatural the basic food ingredients and groceries are there. One day I accidentally bought a bottle of organic milk and it said something along the lines of "no antibiotics, no steroids, no added sugar or sweetener". That really made me wonder what it was about and I started looking into the matter. I found out that basically the standard beef and dairy comes from cows raised by feeding them antibiotics and steroids and who knows what horrific substances to make them grow fast and bigger. And all that crap ends up in us humans when we consume beef and dairy products. And the same applied to basically everything sold at the big supermarkets. Eggs, vegetables, fruit, everything. I got so freaked out by it, it got to the point that when I was in New York for three months earlier this year I spent propably a few thousand dollars in groceries alone because I just couldn't eat anything that wasn't organic or all natural. I mainly shopped at Whole Foods at Union Square and dragged my groceries all the way to Greenpoint, Brooklyn from there. Now I eat fish or chicken maybe twice a week, red meat even less and keep opting for plant based organic food. I've learned a lot more about good nutrition from friends and books, and my only motivation to eat healthy is not anymore the fear or the toxicity of American food products. London is quite easy for my kind of diet, there's Pret and Pod and such for the take-away lunches, a good variety of organic products in most super markets, a few Whole Foods- stores and even some all organic grocery stores like Planet Organic.

I've also managed to make some goals and aims for myself. I want to study and go to university, so that will be the next thing I do after modeling. I can't wait to have a more settled down, regular life and be able to make plans and have a home. I really, really enjoy what I do now but I don't see myself doing it full-time at the age of 40, so I see no harm in planning ahead ;) I'm dreaming of studying at Christ Church College of the University of Oxford, now all I need to do is win the lottery to afford to study there (tuition £9 000 per year plus board and lodging etc... we are looking at about 30 000 euros a year)! Maybe a more realistic option would be a university in Helsinki or Stockholm, at least it would be fairly affordable to study there. I haven't really even decided the course or major I want to take but I'm investigating all possible options. If all else fails I can always return to the university in my home town of Jyväskylä and finish my chemistry degree, or just keep on working on my online courses for communications at the Open University of Helsinki.

Well, that's a lot of babble for a Friday evening. I'm not really in the mood for going out, so I will just read and sleep early. I haven't been sleeping enough the past week, I can't wait to crawl under my blankets and NOT have to turn on the alarm clock :)

OLD LOVE MADE NEW.

CRAVING.

NEED A CHANGE.

Hi ya'll. I went to get a body composition measuring. You know the thing where they check how much of your body mass is muscle, fat, liquids etc. Well, I think I've had a very disturbed image of my own body for years. My body type was "underweight strong body", which means that my body fat content was extremely low but the muscle content normal. My weight was a bit lower than recommended. All the measurements are compared to WHO recommendations for healthy women of the same age and height. The results suggest that I've been basically underfed for years and that the fat mass around my intestines would be very low and it could cause health problems in the future if I don't change my diet. I'm kind of confused. Looking in the mirror I always thought that I should exercize more, get more toned and skinnier and burn fat. But to my surprise, my body fat percent was so low that the measuring programme suggested adding about 7 kilos of fat mass to my body to achieve healthy body composition. I totally believe all that, I haven't been feeling very good or healthy in a long time...

I'm going to ask my good friend Essi to help me out and make me a meal plan that has some sense and helps me eat healthier. She was my room mate in New York for almost 3 months and I've already learned a lot about good nutrition from her. Now she started actually studying the subject and writes a nice blog. Check it out here, maybe you guys will learn something valuable and start eating healthier and taking better care of your bodies. I really need to make a change, and I'm going to start today. Oh and by the way, I'm going to quit smoking. Right now, for good.

SPRING MOODS.

I had a nice shooting last week for Finnish Elle magazine. Our photographer was the multi-talented Sanna Saastamoinen, who totally charmed me with her down-to-earth eccentricism and enthusiasm. It was really nice to work with emotions and a story instead of the fierce attitude and strong poses that have been "in vogue" lately. I'd known most of the crew for some years already, I love working in Finland because it never really feels like work. More like hanging out with friends doing some fun art project or something.

We had a cloudy, windy day and of course the location was a beach. We went to Vuosaari, I can't get over how romantic the scene was. I'm definitely going back there when it's warm enough to hang out in a bikini. We heard some crazy gun firing from the near by army base, it was a bit scary at first since the earth was really shaking and it took us a while to figure out what was going on.

I was supposed to be in London right now, but I had to cancel my trip... So I'm just enjoying the Finnish summer beginning and hanging out with friends. The weather has been amazing. My sister is coming back from Latvia tomorrow, I've missed her so much. I hope the sun and warmth is making you all as happy and refreshed and relaxed as me. The winter was so horrible, even in Tokyo and New York where I spent the most of if. Sorry for being such a bad blogger lately. Just feels like I been having more important things to do ;) Maybe I'm getting a little bit happy again.

MADRID.

We had a crazy photo shoot in a beautiful hotel in Madrid. The styling was mostly lingerie and I had some pictures together with a guy model. At first the mood was kind of awkward, but luckily the photographer was the funniest and smartest guy I met in a long time, he got us some red wine and after a couple glasses and his hilarious jokes the whole crew relaxed and we ended up having such a good time and great pictures. Madrid is a nice city but I have to say I prefer Barcelona as place to work, I think Barca is much more international. But Madrid got me in the right mood for my next destination, Paris. More about that later...

TIME TO SWEAT.

I'm going to do some excercise soon with my fitness instructor ;) He introduced me to this kettle bell training, it's fun and he got me a pink bell :) I'm in Finland, been here for a week now and i'm really enjoying being home again. Although Paris and Madrid were nice too. Gonna write about that soon. Now it's time to sweat!

HOME SWEET HOME.

 Me and my sister enjoying our favorite past time together: making faces and taking pictures of our selves. Love!

 Okay the title of this post might be a bit distracting, since I don't really have an actual place I call home. I consider home to be where ever the most important people in my life are living, and most of them are residing in Finland at the moment. Currently my official address is at my dad's in Vantaa, he lives outside the city of Helsinki and very close to the airport which is convenient for my current life style. Despite not having a physical place to call home, it is sweet to be home, with the people I love most. I've spent the last week with my family and some of my best friends, in Helsinki, in my home town Jyväskylä and up north in the country side at my grandma's. It feels really good to be in Finland. I'm kinda tired of traveling right now, after a long trip I always need some time to get grounded again and enjoy the familiarity and order of Finland.

Btw, I noticed this weird display at the railway station of my home town today. It's propably been there forever but I've never really paid attention to it before. It has a stuffed magpie, squirrel and rabbit and it says "Welcome to Jyväskylä". Jyväskylä means "grain village", I think all this gives you an idea of what kind of a place is in question!

ROOF TOP TERRACE.

Sun shine for my last days in New York. How about that view from our terrace? You really get into that NY state of mind looking at the Manhattan sky line every morning. I bought those Ray-Ban Wayfarers from LA, I missed the ones I left home so much I thought another pair never hurts haha.